Media Officers
Media Officer’s Role:
Due to their extreme intelligence, the Media Officers have roughly split up their duties. Lord Matticus is responsible for taming the Pendragon (the kingdom’s letter of amusing and extremely topical news) whilst Lady Eleanor Jane Willoughby-Chavley takes on the equally fire-breathing website (see, I’m doing it right now!) Their magical powers are combined in many a postering masterpiece!
A few choice words with Lexical Genius, Sir Mattacus Wallace:
1. Name: Matt Wallace
2. Position…on the JCR, not sexual…unless you want to add that as well…it’s up to you…NOW ANSWER THE QUESTION: Media Officer
3. Birthday: July 26th
4. County Building? County Main…if only I still lived there.
5. Favourite moment of Fresher’s week? Mike was chopping a chilli and the pip flew up and into his eye. He went mental, kicking in cupboards and rubbing hot water in his eye. He ended up getting eye drops which paralysed half his face. Funny as hell. Not for Mike, though.
6. What kind of birthday caYke would you prefer: a bunny cake or a penis cake (it’s from Friends therefore it’s a valid question!)? Who wouldn’t want a penis cake?
7. What is your favourite meal? Vegetable Fajitas
8. Where, in your personal opinion is the best place to eat on campus? Wibbly Wobbly Burger place.
9. What day would you prefer to eat some beetroot? Ugh. Disgusting.
10. On Octantag (the 8th day of the County week) what will you be doing? Procrastinating.
11. North or South? South East
12. What would you do if a dragon (not a pendragon) attempted to attack County tree? Scream like a girl.
13. What was the last film you watched at the cinema? Casino Royale. What a kickass film. Daniel Craig is awesome.
14. What’s your favourite song? Freebird by Lynyrd Skynyrd. The proper, 9 minute version.
15. Cats or Dogs? Cats are better when you’re lazy. You don’t have to walk them.
16. Preferred fancy-dress costume? A giant bottle of evian. Or as a Christmas tree.
17. Which do you prefer: your right big toe or your left middle toe and why? My right big toe, because last year it got all funky and colourful and I had to have the toenail removed.
18. One steak or two? I’m a vegetarian.
19. When is your favourite night out in Lancaster and where? I like Hustle when there are buy one get one free cocktails. Also, the night when they do snakebites for a quid is good. Is that Wednesday? Or Tuesday? One of them.
20. What is your opinion of the rumour (the rumour that I just made up this second) that they’re going to let chavs live in County next year? They already do. They disguise themselves as Rugby players.
21. What, in your opinion, is the best bargain that you’ve ever purchased from Spar? A trifle, for 10p.
22. If you had an unlimited amount of money, what social would you organise for County? I’d hire fire eaters, sword swallowers and snake charmers. Then I’d get a coach and take everyone to Spearmint Rhino in London. And buy everyone a lapdance. What?
A magical experience with Weaver of Webs, Lady Elly Willoughby:
1. Name: Elly
2. Position…on the JCR, not sexual…unless you want to add that as well…it’s up to you…NOW ANSWER THE QUESTION: Media Officer and I can do this awesome thing where I dislocate my arms, legs and neck; get a frozen haddock and…..I’ll leave it up to you ;)
3. Birthday: 24th May buy me many presents of greatness, you’ve had enough notice!
4. County Building? MAIN MAIN MAIN, used to be BNE but DSE now
5. Favourite moment of Fresher’s week? This Fresher’s week week, as a kitchen rep has been soooo much better than mine. I think the best bit was walking down the spine with 30 freshers on the 2nd day to be greeted by a rugby player weeeeeing all over the spine…WELCOME TO UNI!!
6. What kind of birthday caYke would you prefer: a bunny cake or a penis cake (it’s from Friends therefore it’s a valid question!)? a caYke’s a caYke, get it eaten!!
7. What is your favourite meal? Anything that someone else has cooked for me :p but also stir fry yum yum
8. Where, in your personal opinion is the best place to eat on campus? County Diner!! Ooo carrot caYke is yummy and toasted tea-caYkes are also of the good!
9. What day would you prefer to eat some beetroot? Everyday my friend, everyday is a beetroot day!
10. On Octantag (the 8th day of the County week) what will you be doing? Playing with my muffin puppet……that sounds well dodgy but it isn’t really, it’s a muffin that’s a puppet, watch Scrubs and you’ll be right there with me!
11. North or South? North, because it is the beautiful face of the country, the south is the feet and let’s face it, who likes feet over face?
12. What would you do if a dragon (not a pendragon) attempted to attack County tree? Offer it some pancakes
13. What was the last film you watched at the cinema? James Bond and good lord he is a fitty!! On a serious note (yes I do have one) it is a really really good film.
14. What’s your favourite song? Aaaaarrrggghhhh depends how I feel so I shall give you a few: Madina Lake - One Last Kiss, The Used - All That I’ve Got, System Of a Down - Chop Suey, Coheed and Cambria - Wake Up.
15. Cats or Dogs? Dogs most definitely
16. Preferred fancy-dress costume? fridge
17. Which do you prefer: your right big toe or your left middle toe and why? Left middle toe, I have grown quite fond of it and have named it Freddy Von Chavley III
18. One steak or two? Two, that’s an obvious question!
19. Finish the sentence: Pendle boys…hate broccolli on a Tuesday
20. When is your favourite night out in Lancaster and where? MONDAY TOAST!!!!!
21. What is your opinion of the rumour (the rumour that I just made up this second) that they’re going to let chavs live in County next year? Why do you think we’re pulling it down? They’re going to lure them all into County West with promises of fake gold hoops and extra long socks to tuck their trakky bottoms into and then….KA BOOOOOM!
22. What, in your opinion, is the best bargain that you’ve ever purchased from Spar? There are no bargains to be had in Spar boooooooooooooo
23. If you had an unlimited amount of money, what social would you organise for County? I’d fill County Main with jelly, which would provide a mega cool bouncy castle and also a source of food for a fair few starving County members. We’d then ship in the cast of neighbours and make them sing and dance after which we’d auction them off and I’d spend all my loan buying Boyd and possibly Paul Robinson, he makes me chuckle!
JCR Exec
